Hi there, today I’m here to talk about a bit of a hot, but often misunderstood, topic: TRAUMA. I want you to stop asking trauma… who dis? But instead better understand trauma and know what to do about it. I’m going to start with explaining more in-depth the emotional process of trauma. Then I’ll dive into totally human responses and what to do about it.
Definitions Ya’ll
According to the American Psychological Association, “trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event (like an accident, tragic death, sexual assault, or even natural disaster.)” I’ll take that definition further and share that the emotional response one experiences then starts to disrupt your function living daily life. Experiencing trauma can have a wide range of effects on a person and on their relationships. It is also important to remember that not everybody will be affected the same way by a singular event.
Common responses to experiencing a traumatic event include but not are not limited to: sadness, anger, shame, disruption of sleeping habits, anxiety, depression, and irritability.
One may experience a traumatic event and not experience a high level of disruption. On the other hand, another individual could develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In the middle, there is something called acute stress disorder (ASD) and this describes someone who can experience the symptoms listed above but they dissipate after a few weeks. Feel like you are starting to understand trauma and want to know what to do with it? Let’s go a little deeper.
So how? and why?
I’ll explain bit of the science behind trauma’s impact but later I’ll focus more on how trauma can affect relationship with self and others. Let’s break down the brain into 3 parts: brain stem, limbic and midbrain, finally the cortex and forebrain. This concept was introduced by Paul D. MacLean, and he breakdown how each part of the brain is involved in a traumatic experience.
Initially, the brain stem’s response is to send the body in to “reactive” mode. If you are familiar with the terms/phrase “fight, flight, or freeze” that is the brain stem at work! Second, the limbic or midbrain activates, which is responsible for calming back down and resume normal functioning. The midbrain is attempting to communicate that all is well and reduce the stress hormones that were released by the sympathetic nervous system. If the trauma or “threat” begins to disappear, the midbrain is sending signals that all is well and the individual can resume normal functioning.
Now, when the threat continues to persist or is intense enough that the midbrain is unable to communicate to the brain stem that “all is well”, this increases the chances for one to develop PTSD. One may find themselves in a perpetually flooded state. Simply said, one’s body will feel as if they are in constant danger.
The cortex part of the brain is in charge of cognitive processing, memory, inhibitions, and one’s ability to make decisions. The part of the brain is highly impacted by trauma.
Whew! If you are reading this now, thank you for sticking with me! Now please hear me say, just because you have maybe experienced some sort of trauma, that does not mean you are broken or unable to heal. With the right support, education about trauma, and COMPASSION for yourself, you can heal!
Let’s talk about how we see trauma manifest in daily life.
Trauma in Real Deal Life
Trauma can be a sneaky little thing. The most common manifestations are: intrusive thoughts, memories or flashbacks, altered mood, hyper-vigilance or hyper-arousal, and avoidance (some fancy therapy words for you here). Your body can experience an increase in heart rate or start shaking. You may find yourself crying “for no reason.” You may have difficulty concentrating, feeling anxious, or not feel anything. Alright its coming together… I’m starting to understand trauma, but where do I see this affect my life?
When You Try to Connect
Have you experienced a pattern of attempting to connect with a partner or loved one but when a conversation gets deep you become defensive or withdraw quickly in silence? This response could indicate unresolved trauma. If someone has survived domestic abuse or a childhood trauma, they learned very specific messages during that experience. Their internal dialogue may be communicating to them, “I am not enough unless I ______” , “The only way to keep the peace is if I keep the house immaculate for my partner”, “ I must stay quiet and small so my father/mother won’t get upset.” These thoughts turn to beliefs and these beliefs can influence your relationships to your significant other but also friendships and family members.
Know What To Do With Trauma
My biggest suggestions for what to do about trauma…
Step 1: Safe Person, Safe Place
You may find yourself reading this and have experienced your own trauma. You could also be reading this and trying to understand more about trauma and how it has impacted your partner. One aspect to understand is that a trauma survivor can be triggered and not always know that their body has gone into “protective mode.”
It’s important to have patience with yourself and your partner to uncover triggers and how they manifest. In order to do this, a safe space must be created for one to explore and discover those triggers.
Safe spaces can exist in a therapist’s office or a park bench with a trusted confidant.
Step 2: Coping Skills (YAS QUEEN)
Now I want to touch on a few coping skills that can help while addressing trauma. Like I stated before, discovering your triggers will be incredibly helpful to begin coping and healing from trauma. It can be difficult to explore what makes you uncomfortable, angry, anxious and overwhelmed.
Is it a place? Is it a type of personality? A smell? Certain kinds of physical touch? Write these down and try to note any patterns that emerge.
Second, learn about breathing exercises that can help during anxious moments. Breathe in for 6 counts and out for 4 counts. This exercise focuses on calming your nervous system.
Lastly, using a grounding technique can help bring your thoughts from the past or future into the present moment. When you find yourself mentally distancing from someone or distancing in conversation, this exercise can help! Notice the scenery around you. What do you see? What can you feel? What can smell? Utilize your senses and get them to work for you rather than against you.
Feel like you want a list of like 100 coping skills to try? Yeah, I’ve got you covered. Check out this blog post for more ideas.
Again, please hear me say, healing can and will come. Everybody has a unique experience and healing is an ongoing process. Trauma is sneaky. And sometimes you may encounter a new person or event that triggers an overwhelming emotion. But remember the coping skills. Remember that healing takes time. And most of all, remember to have COMPASSION.
If you think there is some trauma work to be done for yourself, I’d 100% suggest counseling. Whether you are struggling with daily living, feel you just need some extra support, or have no idea where to even start, I am here for you. Trauma, who dis? Not anymore, I hope you now feel you better understand trauma and know what to do about it.
Annelise Hernandez is a therapist at Seaside Counseling Center in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Annelise works with couples, 20 somethings, and perinatal parents online and in-person.
Source: https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-science-behind-ptsd-symptoms-how-trauma-changes-the-brain/