Welcome! We are so glad you are here. After recently finishing our Childproof Your Relationship Before Baby course, we thought it’d be helpful to give quick, actionable, tips to prepare your relationship for future kids. This is a way to introduce yourself to our course and see if it might be what you are looking for.
Before we dive right into the course, I want to give a quick intro to why we made this course. We see so many individuals and couples that are in different stages of their relationships, but regardless the conversation of kids tend to trip people up. We wanted to introduce to our clients, and all humans who are searching for it, a way to prepare your relationship before diving into having children.
Let’s get to it! Here are our 6 tips to prepare your relationship for future kids:
1. Timeline
Often times partners don’t identify a timeline of when they want to start having kids. We suggest sitting down and identifying when you envision yourself with children and what you’d like to do BEFORE that time comes.
2. Finances
Get those finances ready! Start a savings account for expenses related to future children and start putting money in it every month. Be strategic about paying off any debts and if you haven’t already, have very candid conversations with your partner about your current financial situation and your financial goals.
3. Spirituality/Religion
This tends to be a topic couples have started to breach with one another. Do you have a defined spiritual/religious practice? Do you share that practice with your partner? Do you know how you want to raise your children?
4. Parenting Type
So if the last one was one that most have talked about, this is the one that most haven’t! We suggest discussing what your childhood was like. What kind of parents did you grow up with? What did or didn’t you like? What kind of parent do you hope to be?
5. Conflict
How would you rate your conflict skills on a scale of 1-10? Conflict can be healthy, but do you know how to have healthy conflict with one another? What is at least one area for improvement you see in the way you each approach conflict?
6. Planning
So what’s the actual plan? You’ve gone through some major topics here. When, where, how, why. When do you want to be parents? Where do you plan to start this journey? How are you going to get there (what if you struggle to conceive naturally, do you move on to other options? What options?)
And finally. Why? Why do you each want to be parents? Are you confident that you want children?
Digging into the parenthood journey is overwhelming and easily avoided. But as a way to strengthen your relationship, prepare, and make intentional decisions it is so important. If you’d like to dig in more, check out our course at Childproof Your Relationship Before Baby. Thanks for reading out 6 tips to prepare your relationship for future kids!
Rachel Cohen, LCSW is the owner and therapist at Seaside Counseling Center in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Rachel works with frustrated and overwhelmed 20 somethings and perinatal parents online and in-person.