3 Partner Vulnerability Exercises

Hi there!! Our 5 Ultimate Vulnerability Exercises has been so popular, that I figured let’s dive in a little more and share 3 partner vulnerability exercises. If you are in a relationship this one is for YOU. I probably don’t need to tell you, that relationships are hard. They take real work and that work tends to be some serious emotional sh*t. Ugh.

But there is hope. Because one of the best ways to improve relationship satisfaction is by establishing a deeper emotional connection with your partner. I mean like reallllly getting into the nitty gritty of whats going on emotionally individually and between the two of you. So let’s get started, here are 3 partner vulnerability exercises:

ONE. EFT. Emotion Focused Things.

That’s not what it actually stands for, but for our purposes let’s stick with it. Try working your way through the book Hold Me Tight. It has tons of information. But to start for now, when you are in conflict with your partner, take a five minute break and identify what you are feeling. Write down the feeling words, all of them, even the ones you are ashamed of. Now when you go back to your partner (after they have done the same). Start again, but start with the sentence “I want to figure this out. I reacted ________ because I am feeling _________”. Then allow your partner space to do the same. Watch how the conversation/conflict changes.

TWO. Body Language Y’all.

It is seriously in the small things. Vulnerability can be opening up emotionally, but it is also being engaged with your body and sensations. Make sure you are facing your partner, looking into their eyes, not on your phone/computer, and giving them your full attention. Ask your partner to do the same. Try sharing a part of your day/week/month that you had a hard time with and see how it feels to have your partner show you they care through body language. Do the same for them. If there are improvement areas, gently remind your partner of what it is you need them to be doing differently.

THREE. Vulnerability with YOU.

Most people, including me, like to avoid this part 🙂 It is a lot easier to be “vulnerable” if you don’t check in with how you are actually feeling. I’m angry. I’m annoyed. I’m frustrated. Those emotions tend to be our first ones we recognize. But often those aren’t the ones that we are needing to address. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m jealous. I’m self-conscious. These are our pot of gold under the rainbow we’re looking for. Because these will get us somewhere. If we can identify our shame to ourselves, we can express it to our partners. They will better understand us. They will better care for us. They will better ‘see’ us (uhhh yaaa just watched Avatar again). To be seen, you have to show yourself. We aren’t in relationships with mind readers (although that might be helpful sometimes).

BONUS: If you and your partner are considering having children together…. check out our newest course! It is loaded with even more partner vulnerability exercises, plus information, tips, and all the things!

Rachel Cohen, LCSW is the owner and therapist at Seaside Counseling Center in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Rachel works with frustrated and overwhelmed 20 somethings and perinatal parents online and in-person.