So, you want to find “the one”. Your soulmate. Your person (cue Greys anatomy). Your best friend.
It sounds hard. Like really really hard. How in the hell are you supposed to find that one person in a world of billions? Well, here are some suggestions to get you started…
- Evaluate WHY you want to find your person. Do you feel like you need to be in a relationship? Are you lonely? Are you ready to hit major life milestones (marriage or babies)? Are you craving intimacy? Before we can find “your one”, we need to understand the reasons why you want to find them (other than that’s just what you are supposed to do).
- Consider the idea that there isn’t just ONE person out there for you. To me, the idea of a soulmate is romantic and beautiful, but like seriously unrealistic. Like I mentioned before, HOW THE HELL are we supposed to just randomly meet this one person in a world of billions? What if I was supposed to bump into them, but I decided not to go on that trip? Or wanted to watch Netflix with my dogs? So if you believe in soulmates, good for you, but we might not be on the same page (and that’s okay!).
- Brainstorm general qualities you want in a partner. Try not to get too specific, but rather have a general shadow of a person pictured in your head. Do you want them to be loyal, honest, and motivated? Great. Do you want them to be sexy as hell with ripped abs, brown hair, blue abs, two brothers and a sister, a doctor, who is 25 years old and a millionaire. Hmmmm maybe a little too much criteria for any human being to match up to and then you automatically eliminate some really great candidates. Understand that we don’t always know what is best for us unless we give it a chance.
- Get out there and meet people. At some point we need to give ourselves a pep talk to get out there. Get a new hobby. Go to a networking event. Go to after work happy hour. Get a pet and take them to the park. Get on dating sites. Ask your friends if they know someone who might be a good fit. Put the energy out there and good karma better return. We can’t just expect these things to come to us, but rather put in the damn work and make it happen. YOU GOT THIS.
- Relationships are hard work. Every. Damn. Day. you wake up and make a conscious decision to be with this person. Relationships are hard, repeat that for the people in the back, they are HARD. It is okay to disagree, fight, yell, cry, make up, move on. It is also okay to decide this isn’t the person worth fighting for. Evaluate what you gain and what you lose in this relationship (I promise you, even in the best relationships you will sacrifice something). Is this someone you are happy to be with majority of the time? Do they challenge you and bring you up? Do they make you feel loved and secure? Do they annoy the hell out of you? Probably, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think about the fact that to find “the one” you have to be willing to make it work.
Do you want to dig deeper into your relationship problems? Do you feel like it just never works out for this reason or that one?
Let me help you! Give me a text or call for a free phone consultation and find out if we are a good fit to figure out what is going on and make positive, impactful change so you can have the future you want.