Is it even possible to have good vibes in your life all the time? Personally, I want to say probably not, but professionally I want to say hell yes it is. I am human too, not on some high platform as a therapist, not an expert (especially not an expert of your life). I mess up too, a lot. I have really hard days. I eat my feelings. Yell at my partner. Cry.
I want to put a reminder out there that just because I am a counselor and coach, 100% ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT mean I have it all together. It really just means I went through a lot of schooling and a lot of hours with clients trying to figure out techniques to handle life more effectively. Some ways may work for you, some may not. The ways that work for me, might not work for you. And vice versa. I like to think I’ve gathered a helluva lot of good tips and practices, so I want to share some ways that I’ve discovered to help have good vibes in your life more frequently. HERE YA GO!
- Recognize that “negative” feelings are okay and normal. The first step to having more good days is to understand that bad days exist and WILL happen. People always say the first stage is acceptance. Well I think that is true and we need to be OKAY experiencing bad days, bad vibes, negative feelings, all the nastiness. That way we can see its there and move forward from it. It is pretty hard to move on from something that we don’t even realize is there or refuse to acknowledge.
- Just because you have a bad minute, hour, few hours, etc does NOT make it a BAD DAY. As soon as we start generalizing our time, we allow ourselves fewer opportunities for good experiences. For example, I woke up late, stubbed my toe on the coffee table (this is literally the worst), and forgot my lunch. All in the span of one hour. Yes, that stuff SUCKS. But I have a choice, I can decide that this day is a wash and the rest of it is gonna suck OR I can take a deep breath and make a mental note, that yeah my morning was shitty, but I still have the opportunity to make my afternoon and evening great. I am going to do everything in my power to turn this day around.
- Bring on your own good vibes. Once you’ve decided to try your best to make the the day great, start bringing on your own good vibes. For example, I had the above^^^ bad hour, so I am going to ask my favorite co-worker to go to lunch with me, I am going to get a pedicure this weekend to fix my busted up toe, and I am going to buy myself chocolate covered strawberries for tonight while I watch the bachelor (both are two very guilty pleasures). I am going to bring my own good vibes to my day, rather than wait and hope they appear. Good things don’t always come to those that just wait.
- Eliminate the toxic people and energy. If there is someone constantly bringing down your energy and sucking the life out of you, reconsider if this person is adding value to your daily life or if they are taking away value. If they take away more than they provide, consider if you really want them in your life or if you should take a break from them (I say take a break because people. do. change. It is okay to give people second and third chances, if you want to). For now though, if they aren’t adding value take some time away.
- Other people have “bad days” too, so understand that it is okay to take space if they are providing bad vibes today. I am a recovering people pleaser. I understand the feeling that you NEED to do something with someone because you committed to it. In some cases, you are bringing bad vibes into the equation when you just really don’t want to go. IT IS OKAY TO CANCEL. Other times, the OTHER person is bringing the bad vibes and choosing to come anyways, in these cases it is important to recognize how they are affecting you. If you feel yourself fading fast into their bad space, head home early, talk to them about their vibes, or take a break during your hang out!
- Be Mindful. Mindfulness is one of my favorite concepts. Be aware of your present space, thoughts, and feelings. Change something if your current space is not working and bringing on the good vibes.
Do you want good vibes more frequently? Try out these techniques and let me know if they helped you! If you REALLY want to dig deep to a happier you consider getting a therapist or coach to help maximize your success.
Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to see if we might be a good fit for one another or if I can get you set up with some other services to help you succeed! I am always here for you, just reach out!