Welcome back! This is day 3 of crushing the singles game. Yesterday we talked about a pros and cons list of being single. What are some of the benefits you get from being single and what are some of the drawbacks? Are there some things you don’t get when you are a single person?
Today we are going to break that down. I want us to narrow it down into different categories. So focus first on the negatives, your cons column. Take the different negatives that you have listed and see if you can combine them into categories; financial responsibilities, loneliness, friendship. Any of those you can break down into a category and draw a line connecting them together.
On your pros list you can just leave it the way it is because we love all of those beautiful pros.
Once you have it narrowed down. I want you to identify if you have control over any of those categories. For example, loneliness, if you have a few different things on your list exhibiting that being single might produce feelings of loneliness (which is VERY NORMAL and even people in relationships get lonely- you are not alone in this!!!). If you are presenting that there is some loneliness, ask yourself “do I have control over this?”.
For loneliness (my answer) would be HECK YES you have control over aspects of loneliness. You can cultivate other relationships, not just romantic ones, you can go out on dates, you can hang out with your family, you can do things that make you feel good about yourself, whether that is self care (reading a book, taking a bath, etc). Sometimes loneliness is just our mind and body’s way of telling us “Hey, YOU, I need some love and affection”. That doesn’t just mean love and affection from someone else.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves love and affection. (Let’s make that most of the time).
Once you have identified if you have control over the area. Then make some ACTIONABLE STEPS (small, time sensitive, steps) to start to work on these areas.
This is your extra take home exercise: think about a relationship you can cultivate. NOT JUST ROMANTIC ONES. Hanging out with a friend, going on a friendly date. Is there a relationship that can grow that is going to positively affect you?
That’s all I’ve got for you today… I’ll see you tomorrow!
because being single is NOT always easy.
Links to each part of the series will be added here when complete:
Introduction: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series/
Part 1: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-1/
Part 2: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-2/
Part 3: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-3/
Part 4: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-4/
Part 5: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-5/
Part 6: https://seasidecounselingcenter.com/crushing-the-singles-game-vlog-series-part-6/
Rachel Cohen, MSW, LCSW is the owner and therapist at Seaside Counseling Center in Jacksonville Beach, FL. Rachel works with lonely, frustrated, and overwhelmed teens, 20 something’s, and new (or soon to be) mothers throughout Florida.