It would be nice if work and stress, specifically, work stress would go away. But since we need to make money to live and work is going to inherently provide stress, lets talk about how we can better manage our work stress. I talk with friends and clients ALL THE TIME about work and how we go through high school or college dreaming about the time we will be in our cute little jobs, making disposable income. Ah, what a life. Rather, we normally get to a stage, not too far after high school or college, where we realize “WTF! this is not what I had in mind when I was dreaming about it…”
So why is that? My completely non-scientifically-supported theory is that as soon as we identify something as “work” it is going to come with negatives. The term work is defined as “something a person or thing has to do”. HAS TO. Well there you go, that is exactly why I think it is hard to always love work because it is something we no longer have a choice about, it is something we HAVE to do (to be clear you can choose your job and have free will, but we all do need to work (unless you are a trust fund baby then F.U. ;)) ). “Work” normally includes having to be somewhere at sometime, dress a certain way, put in long hours, do things we don’t always want to, etc. Now that we know why work can be stressful, I’ve come up with some techniques that work for me to lessen my work stress. Give em’ a try and let me know what you think!
Identify if this job is something you WANT to be doing. Is this a job you dreamed about having? Is this job just a means to an end? Does this job spark joy (thanks Marie Kondo)? Does the positive outweigh the negative? All jobs come with negatives, but if most of your days feel negative maybe this isn’t the job for you. The first step to limiting work stress is identifying if this is the job you want to be doing. If the answer is no, then brainstorm other jobs that may be a better fit and set goals to eventually get to that job.
Target WHERE the stress is coming from. Look at identifying where the stress is coming from. Is it a particular client, coworker, or supervisor stressing you out? Is it a specific task that you have to do every week that you haaateeeee? Is it the time of day you are working or your schedule? Ask yourself WHERE the stress is stemming from.
How can you ADJUST this stressful aspect? Now that you’ve identified where the stress is stemming from, look at how you can change that factor. Can you interact with that stressful coworker less? Can you come into work a little earlier or a little later? Can you work to get a promotion that does not have the same stressful responsibilities as your current job? Consider talking to a friend or a coworker about your work stress and see if they have an objective perspective about what you could change to lessen your stress.
Understand some stress is normal and GOOD. Stress and anxiety are a normal part of life and can be a good thing in certain situations. For example, anxiety or stress before a test normally leads to someone studying harder. Is the stress that you are identifying normal and manageable? If so, good! If not, keep reading.
Stress can’t always be eliminated, so find COPING SKILLS to help. Sometimes we can’t eliminate our stress, so instead we need to look at ways we are dealing with our stress. I suggest googling coping skills first. Next, think of things that make you happy and how you can incorporate them into your life more frequently. Some of my favorite coping skills are: triangle breathing, grounding exercises, meditation, walking, working out, snuggling with my dogs, music, taking a bath, essential oils diffuser, candles, sleep, reading, watching netflix, baking, play-doh. Look up and talk to others about how they manage stress and start implementing your list into your daily routine.
Does stress seem to take over your life? If so, I’d definitely recommend talking and processing with a mental health counselor. Chronic stress can lead to serious health problems and can be very difficult to get under control by yourself. If this sounds like you, reach out to me for a free 15 minute consultation and we can get you set up with mine or someone else’s counseling/coaching services to help!
ATTN: people pleasers and over stressed workers check this TED talk out for some additional inspiration