Oh, the infamous “I” statement. Now I don’t know if this is actually infamous or if I am just in my own little therapist world over here, but this is a powerful tool. What is an “I” statement? Fantastic question, so happy you asked!
An “I” statement is when you adjust any statement of thought or feeling to be geared towards yourself. For example; rather than saying “you made me angry” you may say “I felt angry because …”. Now it may sound or feel a little ridiculous, but there is a lot of POWER in this little adjustment.
Immediately the statement goes from accusatory to explanatory. The person you are speaking to is SO MUCH less likely to get defensive right off the bat and this will lead to an overall calmer conversation.
It takes practice to get comfortable and confident using “I” statements, so try using them with many different people. Make a goal with your friend or partner to express yourselves through “I” statements when you are angry or frustrated with one another. When you catch yourself using a “you” statement, just say “Oh, sorry, let me rephrase that”.
Was this helpful? To learn more tips and tricks check out some of my other posts. Do you want to dig even deeper? Contact me and lets chat about some coaching or counseling sessions!